[size=200Leighs SL Squad



Widnes Fans saying they will be a top 6 team next season[/size

How hilarious





Here's a good 'un:



What do you call a woman with one leg?



Eilleen !!!!!!

A man goes to the doctor and says:



'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.'



The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.



The man asks:



'Is it serious, doctor?'



and the doctor replies:



'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'

A cute little girl with curly hair goes into a pet shop and teetering backwards and forwards on her toes, says to the shop keeper



"Pleeth mithster thop keeper I am looking for a litoo furwy wabit"



The shop keeper wanting to be customer friendly goes down on his knees in order to be at the same level as the little girl and asks



"Wet me thee. We haw litoo bwack furwy ones, litoo bwawn furwy ones and litoo wite furwy ones, which type of litoo furwy wabit would you like?"



To which the little girl replies:



"I don't fink my python gives a thit."

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive,"

Osama himself decided to send George W. a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.



Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:



370HSSV-0773H



Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides

had no clue either so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it so it

went to the CIA, on then to NASA, then to the Secret Service. With no

clue as to it's meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.



MI-6 cabled the White House "Tell the President he is holding the letter

upside down."

A guy owns a horse stud farm. One day a friend phones him up , "I've

sent a dwarf with a speech impediment to see you. He wants to buy a horse". Sure enough the dwarf turns up.



Dwarf asks "I want to buy a horth"



The owner asks him "Do you want a male horse or a female horse ?"



The Dwarf replies "A female horth"



The owner shows him a Mare.



"Nithe Horth" says the Dwarf, "can I thee her eyth?" The owner picks up

the Dwarf to show him the Horses eyes.



"Nithe eyth" says the Dwarf "can I thee her teeth?" Again the owner

picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.



"Nithe teeth, can I see her eerth?" The Dwarf asks. By now the owner is

getting a little fed up, but again picks up the Dwarf to show him the

horses ears.



"Nithe eerth," he says "Can I see her twot?" With this the owner picks

up the Dwarf and shoves his head deep inside the horses vagina, holding

him there for a second before pulling him out & putting down.



"Perhaps I should rephrathe that" said the Dwarf, "can I see her wun

awound?"

After numerous rounds of "We dont know if Osama is still alive"

Osama himself decided to send George W a letter in his own handwriting,

To let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opned the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message;

370HSSV-0773H

Bush was so baffled he e-mailed it to Colin Powell.

Colin and his aides had no idea either what it said

So they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it there so it then went to the CIA

Then to the NSA then to the Secret Service.

With no clue as to its meaning,

They eventually asked the Canadian RCMP for there help.

The RCMP e-mailed the White House as follows.

Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down

For christ's sake haven't you read the rest of this thread? And it's only 2 posts further up!!

:scratch: :scratch: :scratch: :scratch:

What did God say after he made man?





















I can do better.



Sorry...couldn't resist.. I've taken cover :ghost2:

Ask most people if they've had sex with a 14 year old and they'll say "God, no."



Ask the same question to someone from Oldham and the answer will be "a 14 year old what?"

George Bush goes to a primary scholl to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers a question time.



One little boy raises his hand and the President asks him his name.



"Bob", came the reply.



"And what is your question, Bob?"



"I have three questions. Firstly; why did the USA invade Iraq without UN backing? Secondly; why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And thirdly; what happened to Osama Bin Laden?"



Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after their break-time. When they resume, George says "Ok, where were we? Oh, that's right - question time. Who has a question?".



A different little boy raises his hand. George points him out and asksfor his name.



"Steve"



"And what is your question, Steve?"



"I have five questions, Mr. President. One; why did the USA invade Iraq without UN backing? Two; why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Three;what happened to Osama Bin Laden? Four; why did the recess bell go twenty minutes early? And fifth; where's Bob?"